Chasing dreams

Sorry it's been so long. Feels like I've been so busy these past few weeks without really achieving anything.
I've been thinking about my future a lot lately, and what will happen after I graduate. And it's a scary thought. 2 and a half years ago I was beginning my degree and I was so sure of what I wanted. I was going to do this degree, and then go into research, work in labs, at the forefront of science. It all seemed so exciting, and so important.

And now I'm not so sure. If I've learnt anything about myself in the past 3 years it's that I could never hack a 9 to 5 job. I could never in a million years work in a lab doing research doing the same thing day in and day out, no matter how much I loved it or how important it was. It would drive me insane.

And so now I'm at a point were I'm kind of drifting. Not really knowing what to do at all.

I sit and I look at what I'm good at and what I'm interested in. I still do love biology, but when I think about it, I love learning about diseases. Or about how the human body works. Or about drugs and how they work.
And I'm good at helping people. Caring for people. I've worked as a care assistant for 3 years, and I enjoy it.

So that leads me to think of a career in medicine.

Which would be perfect.
I love every aspect of it.
I love the idea of helping people, of saving lives, of applying knowledge of the human body and really making a difference.

But it's such a risk to pursue this kind of career.
It'll be tough, mentally and physically. Not to mention expensive. This will be my second degree and so I will be liable for all costs. It will be incredibly difficult to even get a place at a University. It means another 4 years at University, plus two more as a junior doctor before I would even get to specialize. I can't even imagine a more stressful career to pursue.

But I can't really look at any other career and actually see myself doing that.

And I've never been in this position before of risking so much in pursuing something so uncertain. It's the kind of thing I only ever see in films, or dramas. Do people do this in real life? Could I do this?

Day 8

day 8- short term goals for this month and why

This month, my short term goals are:

1) To get into a regular sleeping pattern
I'm still kind of all over the place, usually not being able to sleep until 4am. And even if I get up super early, I can't seem to sleep at a decent hour.

2) To get up to date, and keep organised with all work
I've got so much Uni work and it's really piling up on me. Not just lectures, but I have two giant literary reviews today which take up so much time pouring over endless journals. And on top of that I'm also doing a qualification in Financial Planning, and an employability scheme. That adds up to a lot of work.

3) Look after my money!
I am utterly terrible with money, and seem to always find myself skint at the end of the month.

4) Cook more, and eat more healthily
I've mastered making my own pasta sauce but that's about it on the cooking front. Hopefully I'll learn some yummy and healthy new recipes.

Day 7 Brings a Good Mood

Hello again everybody, it's a miserably cold and wet day here in Scotland, so I could think of no better way of procrastination other than to blog to you lovelies.

I'm in such a good mood today, and I think it's partly because I had such a good sleep last night. It's been so incredibly windy here the last few days, and it was particularly stormy last night, and this morning in fact, but there's something about listening to a storm when I'm trying to sleep that relaxes me. I love storms, as long as I'm not outside in them.

I'm also in a good mood because yesterday we finalised all the details for our holiday to Cyprus in August. And on top of this, I booked tickets to go home and see the family at the weekend. They're only a couple hours away on the bus, but I haven't been to see them since Christmas.

And before I forget,
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you

This was a tough, tough question. And I thought about going down the obvious route of putting a picture of a family member up, because they have all had impacts on me. And then I thought about putting a picture of myself up, because in truth I have had the biggest impact on myself, but that felt a little narcissistic.
And so, I went with a place.

This is the University I go to. And I'm not saying that it, itself has had a the biggest impact on me, though it has certainly contributed. It's more that the past 3 years I've spent here, and everything encompassing that, has impacted me most as a person.

The picture above is the lake on campus, and that building across the bridge was where I spent my first year. The accommodation was horrendous and looked more like a prison, but I loved living by the lake and being able to lean out my window and feed the many many swans. And I met the most wonderful people, and had such a lovely time that year.

Ok, I'm done with the nostalgia now. x

Day 6

day 6- favorite super hero and why

Now, I've never really been in to comics so this was a tough one. And I didn't want to just pick a super hero for the sake of it.
So I went with Lara Croft. Not technically a stereotypical super hero, but she's definitely a hero and I think she's super.

She's intelligent, adventurous and kicks ass. What more does one want in a super hero?