Sorry it's been so long. Feels like I've been so busy these past few weeks without really achieving anything.
I've been thinking about my future a lot lately, and what will happen after I graduate. And it's a scary thought. 2 and a half years ago I was beginning my degree and I was so sure of what I wanted. I was going to do this degree, and then go into research, work in labs, at the forefront of science. It all seemed so exciting, and so important.
And now I'm not so sure. If I've learnt anything about myself in the past 3 years it's that I could never hack a 9 to 5 job. I could never in a million years work in a lab doing research doing the same thing day in and day out, no matter how much I loved it or how important it was. It would drive me insane.
And so now I'm at a point were I'm kind of drifting. Not really knowing what to do at all.
I sit and I look at what I'm good at and what I'm interested in. I still do love biology, but when I think about it, I love learning about diseases. Or about how the human body works. Or about drugs and how they work.
And I'm good at helping people. Caring for people. I've worked as a care assistant for 3 years, and I enjoy it.
So that leads me to think of a career in medicine.
Which would be perfect.
I love every aspect of it.
I love the idea of helping people, of saving lives, of applying knowledge of the human body and really making a difference.
But it's such a risk to pursue this kind of career.
It'll be tough, mentally and physically. Not to mention expensive. This will be my second degree and so I will be liable for all costs. It will be incredibly difficult to even get a place at a University. It means another 4 years at University, plus two more as a junior doctor before I would even get to specialize. I can't even imagine a more stressful career to pursue.
But I can't really look at any other career and actually see myself doing that.
And I've never been in this position before of risking so much in pursuing something so uncertain. It's the kind of thing I only ever see in films, or dramas. Do people do this in real life? Could I do this?